I was out walking with my grandson. He picked up something off the ground and started to put it in his mouth. I took the item away from him and I asked him not to do that.
“Why?” my grandson asked.
“Because it's been on the ground; you don’t know where it’s been, it’s dirty, and probably has germs,” I replied.
At this point, my grandson looked at me with total admiration and asked, “Grandpa, how do you know all this stuff? You are so smart.”
I was thinking quickly and said to him, “All grandpas know stuff. It’s on the Grandpa Test. You have to know it, or they don’t let you be a grandpa.”
We walked along in silence for two or three minutes, but he was evidently pondering this new information.
“Oh... I get it!” he beamed, “So if you don’t pass the test you have to be the grandma.”
“Exactly,” I replied with a big smile on my face.
• • • • •
Two Tennessee rednecks are out hunting and as they are walking along they come upon a huge hole in the ground.
The first hunter says, “Wow, that’s some hole; I can’t even see the bottom. I wonder how deep it is.”
The second hunter says, “I don't know, let’s throw something down and listen and see how long it takes to hit bottom.”
The first hunter says, “There’s this old transmission here, we’ll throw it in and see.”
So they pick it up and carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and throw it in the hole.They are standing there looking over the edge and they hear a rustling in the brush behind them. As they turn around they see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the hole and with no hesitation, jump in head first. While they are standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole and trying to figure out what that was all about, an old farmer walks up.
“Say there,” says the farmer, “you fellers didn’t happen to see my goat.”
The first hunter says, “Funny you should ask, but we were just standing here a minute ago and a goat came running out of the bushes doin’ about a hunert miles an hour and jumped head first into this hole here!”
The old farmer said, “That's impossible. I had him chained to a transmission!”