I’m sure there aren’t many people who would openly disagree that the role of mother is an important one.
I’ve heard many refer to it as the most important job out there. We are responsible for assuring the health and well-being of the generations that will continue to impact our life and world. The origin of it all. (No pressure or anything.)
I’m only four years into the gig myself, and I already feel there should be something akin to a purple heart for surviving motherhood.
The stories I had heard from fellow mothers — they are truly doing the Lord's work out there. And often without so little as a thank you.
I don’t mean to make this the martyrdom of motherhood, but I do think the role deserves a bit more grace. And certainly more support.
In this day and age, surviving in this economy often means dual-income households are necessary. We’ve got wildly astronomical grocery bills, plus we need to save for retirement, and if we’re lucky, maybe get the occasional Starbies and a vaycay every other year.
Despite both parents bringing in an income and working eight-plus hour days, statistics continue to show that women remain responsible for a lion’s share of domestic labour and mental load. Why is this?
Women are, by and large, responsible for invisible labour. What is invisible labour, you ask? Ah, happy to inform, it’s the unpaid and unseen labour: laundry, childcare, cleaning, household logistics (upcoming birthdays, hockey games, bake sales, fundraisers, ballet recitals, etc.), grocery shopping and household inventory, meal prep, screen time management, chores… I’m sure you’re getting the gist.
And if you want to add onto that the concept of mental load. Having to think about every. Single. Little. Thing: Picture day is on Wednesday. Is he behind on his letters? Should she have more teeth by now? I need to remember to buy more seed butter. Is that rash redder than it was yesterday? Goldfish are not a food group. When is that prescription due? I have to book the vehicles in for tire rotation. Garbage needs to be put out tomorrow. How long has that chicken been in the freezer? Did I message the teacher about our vacation? We have to get them to bed early tonight. How much screen time is too much? Did they eat enough vegetables today?
Are you exhausted? Me too.
I wonder why the mental load of the family gets bolstered on the mother predominantly. I’m not saying that men don’t also have busy minds or stress, but there is a pretty blatant disparity between the two. And much research to back it up.
How can we work to unburden our women? How can we create a more equitable share of not only the physical load of domestic tasks in the home, but the mental load?
I do wonder what differences would be created in our mothers, and in turn our children, if we were to be able to give these women more.
I recently learned that the largest factor in the well-being, success and health of a child is directly correlated to the overall happiness of their mother. What an interesting shift we could make in our society if we were to truly prioritize a mother’s rest, health and joy.
