Do you know who you are?
That's one of the central themes of Diamond Valley author Deborah McInnes' book Stolen Identity Restored, which follows her journey toward self-discovery while aiming to help police spouses better understand the professional lives of officers.
"It's about finding my identity while being part of the first responder world," said McInnes, whose husband Kevin is a retired police officer with over two decades on the job as well as a former chaplain of the Calgary Police Service.
The book shares McInnes' insights as she reflects on life as the partner of a full-time first responder.
"If I had known my own true identity, which I did journey through, I probably would have been able to handle the earlier years when we were in the policing community, because I would have known who I was and be able to stand, but I didn't have that," she explained.
McInnes said she was inspired to write Stolen Identity Restored after reading Kevin M. Gilmartin's 2002 book Emotional Survival for Law Enforcement: A Guide for Officers and Their Families, which delves into similar subject matter and outlines key elements of a typical police officer's day, such as hypervigilance at work, extreme stress, mental crashes and more.
"We were not told anything at the time, so some of the things that I blamed on myself really had nothing to do with me, they had to do with what the police officers were experiencing in their jobs," said McInnes.
"Hypervigilance is a part of a police officer's life. They're hypervigilant as soon as they walk out the door, and as soon as they get home, they're relieved and they go like a bumpkin on a chair... we look forward to our police officers coming home and then all of a sudden they're still not with us because they've had this biological crash at the end of their shift."
McInnes said that reading Gilmartin's book was such an eye-opener that it compelled her to write her own book sharing her perspective and experiences as a police spouse.
"When men and women go into the policing career, they cannot help but be affected by their work and the people that they are dealing with in their career," she said. "They can't come out unscathed."
Beyond first responders and their partners, the book aims to help all readers better understand their own identities.
"The reality is, is we have a unique individual identity," said McInnes. "How do you take your identity into your work? How can you stand strong and be who you are instead of your job taking over your life?"
McInnes' ultimate goal is to support readers as they work toward their own self-discovery, as she was able to do.
"I want to give them hope," she said. "Through writing this and speaking truth, hopefully I'm bringing hope and healing to people's hearts. That's not just to a first responder or a police spouse, everyone needs this."
Stolen Identity Restored is available for purchase on Amazon.
